warning: this could get gushy.
Last night my roommate and best friend found ourselves talking about pregnancy and babies.
Which got me to thinking.
I cannot wait to be a mother. I can only hope that God allows me become married and able to create a family– I just hope that is within God’s realm of plans. I see pregnant women in the grocery store and some of them look like they feel sick, some look incredibly happy, and some just look like they are carrying four bowling balls around in their bellies. When I was younger I was bound determined that I was not going to ever have kids because I didn’t want to “have” the baby, I didn’t want to ever be pregnant and become…fat.
Now, I cannot wait until that day comes. Yes, I realize that it will have its ups and downs and pain that I will only be able to imagine once I am placed in the situation–but, to feel my live child, something that my husband and I created, moving around in my belly I think in that moment I wouldn’t/couldn’t be happier. To see my child for the first time, responding to mine and my husband’s voice… I know that in that moment I would do anything that it came to to protect my child and give it the love that it deserves.
It’s funny because sometimes I catch myself thinking about my future children–what will they be like? Will they ever have to go through this situation that I am in? What will I do if someone breaks their heart? Will they have my temper? When I think about these things, my children, I am already so in love with them; Just thinking about them puts a huge smile on my face. How can I be in love with something that I have never met before–something that doesn’t even exist yet?
All I know, is that once that child or maybe even children come into my life, I will be so ready to give them all this love that I can only dream of.
I love you already,