We all have done things in our lives that we regret.
Maybe you lied about something you shouldn’t have, took a step outside of loyalty in a relationship, went too far with a boyfriend/girlfriend or even all of the above.
I am writing about this because this is something that I have really been struggling with for quite some time now. Yes, I have done some things that I wholly regret–the devil enjoys running it through my mind so I can’t ever forget it or let go of it. I spend so much of my time hating myself and thinking of myself as “unworthy” or “disgusting” and sometimes I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.
Last night at church before we started worshiping, our leader prayed for us and in his prayer he stated that, “If there is something or some sin that you just need to let go to night just drop it at the Lord’s feet”. During this time, that “sin” came to my mind and then it hit me (sometimes I think God just needs to hit me in the head). I think in this time it was God just revealing himself to me in a detail so LARGE that I don’t even know how I missed it. Do you even know how many times I have asked for forgiveness for that?
The first time I asked forgiveness for that sin, the first time I hated myself for it, the first time I thought of myself as disgusting in the Lord’s eyes, the first time I didn’t do my quiet time because I didn’t feel worthy— God forgave me–He saw me as worth it! I am a daughter of the King and he knows I am going to make mistakes but he also knows that every time I do I will come running towards Him on my knees. He created me. He loves me. Everything that I ever do, God will be there and He will love me just the same because he is just that AWESOME.
In my eyes– no I am not worthy, no I am not beautiful, no I am not clean.
But in God’s eyes–He knows I am worthy, He knows that I am beautiful, and He knows that through Him I was made clean.
God thinks that I am to die for.
Every time that I look/think of myself in disgust, every time that I think no one will want me because of this, I am looking right past what God sent His SON for. Jesus Christ died on that tree so that He could take all of my faults, my sins and my dirt away.
My song went from: “I don’t want to fall away from you. Gravity is pulling me on down” (AMAZING song Gravity, Shawn McDonald) to “You are hope you are hope you have covered all my sins” (Hillsong- Forever Reign).