Something that has been placed on my heart lately, by God I’m sure, is myself. Now, before I run the risk of sounding vain, let me explain–God has given me a desire to be the best Sarah Qua that I can be; to be exactly the person that He has created me to be. What I mean by this is that I have been focusing on so many health aspects of my life (i.e. if I feel like a level in my body count is low, I make buy vitamins to ensure that I remain healthy. I recently bought B12 vitamins because I was severly lacking in energy).
After a long talk with one of my gym friends (basically a big brother at the gym), I ended up telling him that I was getting back in to the eating disorder patterns ago to the point of weighing myself about 4-5 times per day. It was something that I needed to tell someone and talk to someone about because I felt like I didn’t have anyone to run to. I’m not sure how, but he convinced me to throw away my scale. I did it, guys! I can honestly tell you that I feel so… relieved–and much much happier!!! I ate ice cream with Monica the other night and didn’t freak about it at all. I mean, I still eat very healthy, of course, but if I have a cheat day or something I won’t freak out and feel horrible about it like I did. During this talk, I had gotten my body fat percentage measured and it was 19.5% (which is very low for a girl) and he told me if I was to lose any weight right now that I would be losing muscle because at the point that am at right now my muscle greatly outweighs my fat. That put everything in a totally new perspective for me!
Another thing that I have been doing is going makeup-less (except for a little bit of mascara here and there). Through this I have learned to love my face–not the face with makeup on it but the face completely, wholly how my creator designed it. I want to love myself for how God made me–not how the world wants to make me and not how the devil tries to make me by using my own mind.
So where does that leave me with fitness? I am doing this for me–for my mental health. To keep my thoughts straight and my mind focused. It is my favorite thing to life weights–to see how Christ designed the body–my body. I am a strong individual and it’s neat to see how He has designed me to be strong and to completely explore my body to its full potential. There is this quote by Socrates actually that I have fallen in love with and it goes something like this:
what a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.
I want to explore my body and my mind and help it to grow in the full potential of what Christ has created in me–every aspect of it. I got my little sister to start the no-makeup challenge with me and she told me how it has actually made her appreciate her own face for the way it is.
Ladies, don’t hide behind something material.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who loves the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30