So, I have no great message or anything to write about today but rather I am just going to talk about life in general at this point. Okay, so I am an extremely logical person almost to the point of a fault. I think every little detail through. If I want to spend my money on anything I can spend several days thinking about whether I should do it or not. But, I am also a very free spirit and can be very spontaneous. Does that make any sense at all? Haha, probably not. But, the things that I am very spontaneous about are grabbing a full backpack and my dog and going hiking at any time of the day by myself. I can just get up and go somewhere at the drop of a hat.
I moved to Chattanooga basically at the drop of a hat. Packed up all my stuff, found an apartment, a gym, friends, accepted a job all in the span of 4 days. Okay, this is about to get kind of crazy. Good luck keeping up!
About seven years ago my best friend from childhood broke up with this guy (we both tried to figure out how we actually ended up talking but have no remembered how) and somehow we became best friends across the country–Not only friends, but prayer warriors for each other when something went awry. We were both there for each other through long term breakups doing our best to cheer each other up. I have appreciated him SO much through the years.
However, there have been so clashing throughout the years. One time, he asked my opinion on something. Let me just tell you that I am a very honest person–sometimes brutally honest. So being the person that I am, I was honest with him and he got really offended and angry at me. After that, he ignored me for four days. Well, okay, he didn’t ignore me, we both ignored each other. He doesn’t really ask my opinion anymore–I wonder why…?
So, continuing on with the story, last summer I planned a trip back to my home San Diego, CA to visit my family and friends. He was also trying to plan a trip to California and ended up planning his trip around mine so we could actually meet.
We had been “virtual friends” up to this point.
So, we finally hung out and spent a day at the beach which was a really neat experience and kind of funny because it wasn’t really any initial awkwardness at all.
Then, a year later I decided I was going to finally break down and fly there so that we could hang out a little bit more–for a little bit longer anyway.
I was kind of nervous to go out there for so long because I kind of liked this guy and the feelings made me nervous because he does live across the country–Washington, that’s a long way. Also, I was nervous because I had really gotten to know his heart over text and I didn’t want hanging out with him to change that perspective for me. But, despite the worries, I packed my suitcase and headed out there.
Guys. We had such an amazing time.
It was very strange to me because we had texted for six years before ever meeting each other so we knew each other’s heart completely because it was almost that whole “well, I am never going to meet this person anyway so why not tell them how I really feel?” You know what I mean? So, it was very almost strange because I felt so comfortable around him because I knew that he knew more about me than my best friend back at home. We were able to talk about everything so… openly. Of course, there is still a lot more to learn about him and there is a lot more for him to learn about me.
So, call me crazy but I like this guy–a lot. I have for a while and it is really not a surprise to anyone who has known me for a while. He is kind of like a normal conversation topic in our house. But, I have been thinking about moving there (playing around with the idea). Even typing these thoughts just sound crazy to me. Like, these can’t be my thoughts–no way. I am WAY too logical for these crazy thoughts. I have always thought that people who move somewhere for someone else were ridiculous. Like, hello, where is your brain? Now I am thinking them? Oh no, this can’t be good.
I mean, I have absolutely nothing tying my down–besides a dog but she can move too. I don’t have an “incredible” job or anything that I would hate to leave, my lease for my apartment will be up the beginning of February, I don’t have another roommate lined up, the list goes on and on. I am just a receptionist–you can do that anywhere. But, the thought of moving across country from my family and really everything I have ever known.. is almost invigorating. A huge adventure just waiting to be lived. The idea is so intriguing to me. I love the thought of having to start completely over.
But, only if it is God’s will. Let me just throw that out there. I have been praying a lot about my current situation. Honestly, the more I pray for God to show me what to do, the more unhappy I become with certain things. Before I went to Washington I absolutely loved my job, but after I returned, things have begun happening that have made me very unhappy with my job. Just, things that are almost being revealed to me that I am trying to keep my eyes open about. I still love Chatty, of course, I mean… how could you not? But I wouldn’t mind an adventure. I am twenty two years old and I want a life that I am proud to tell people about. Right now, that is not it. I mean, I am proud of having a full time, full benefit job and making it on my own but there is a lot of room for improvement.
So, my dear friends, that is where I am right now and that is where my thinking processes are directed at at this moment. Prayers as well as advice would be greatly appreciated at this point. I will continue to keep you all updated with how things are looking and what God continues to reveal to me.
Until next time my dears,