In our small group, we are going through the book of 1 Peter, and as many of you know, there is a chapter in there that is about wives submitting to their husbands. Ever since my last relationship, I have guarded myself and have made myself very independent and almost a feminist. Not on purpose, but it definitely has happened as a defense mechanism.
When our small group went through this chapter I sat there and could not say a word. I sat there angry–angry at how easy it seemed to just listen to everything your spouse says and just believe that it is right.
Example: if my husband tells me that it is a great idea to jump off of a cliff I should submit to what he thinks is right and jump off right behind him.
That idea was CRAZY to me! And of course, it does not need to be taken quite that extreme but that is the thought that was running through my head. I have become a stubborn, hardened woman and that is NOT what I need to be. Reading this chapter was definitely a wake up call that I needed. After leaving small group completely angered, I went home and read the chapter again and again and again throughout the next few days.
If you know me at all, you know I lift a lot. Why? Well, I like to be fit and comfortable with my body but also because I did not want to have to ask a man to help me ever again. I wanted to do it all on my own. I didn’t want to depend on anyone for help because, in my head, I would be let down again. God laid on my heart that I needed to learn to accept help if offered. One day when I was loading up my kayak on the top of my Escape (I am only 5’3″ so I have to get on my toes and then use the ladder on the side to get to where I need to be), a man who was taking out his boat stopped me and said, “Here, let me help you”. Before God started to soften my heart, I would have said, “No thanks, that’s okay” because I didn’t want him to perceive me as weak. However, this time I paused and kind of looked at him real quick and said, “yeah, that would be great”.
I felt so free! I know that sounds crazy but I felt so great after that!!
This past weekend I had another opportunity. I had gotten out of my kayak and was going to pick it up and have to carry it up quite a few rocks and then my friend Ryan came over and said here I can help you and reached to grab it and normally I would have said, “No I got it, but thanks!” This time, I said, “Okay, thank you!”
It is so difficult to accept help, yet so rewarding. I challenge you all to accept some help this weak. Don’t let your heart be hardened, but let someone help you in any way possible. Better yet, let yourself accept help from the Lord. Take a step back and let someone step in.
It will all be worth it–trust me 😉