Sometimes he would slap my face. I would have hand prints around my wrist from where he would hold me down or pull me. He would tell me, “this is all your fault that I’m leaving, you know”.
I would believe it. Every. Single. Freaking. Time.
“Who was that?” He would ask me when a friend would come over and talk, “Oh that was Ashley–a girl I used to play volleyball with, Why?”
“She is really hot”.
He would strip me down–physically and mentally until I became nothing. I became weak, hollow–numb to everything. Yet, I was so brainwashed I believed I couldn’t go on without him. That if I didn’t have him, I would never have anyone ever again because, after all, who else would want me?
Everyone tried to warn me–tried to tell me what was going on. I wouldn’t–couldn’t believe them. I could never tell him that people would tell me that–he would never let me see them again. I just kept believing that someday it would be better–someday it would be back to the way it was when he was trying to get me to date him. It never got better. It got worse.
However, one day I woke up. I realized what I had to do. I am saying all this because I got out of it. I know you can too. You have to wake up and see what it is doing to you. It will NOT get better. Not only will it NOT EVER get better, but it will affect you in ways unimaginable. It has been four years since I got out of it and I am still dealing with the consequences of that relationship.
You need to get out. You need to leave. Don’t wait. Go. Get out of that.